Rachel Dolezal Is not Trying to Be Black; She’s Trying to Be the Whitest Person You’ve Ever Met

Despite protestations to the contrary, Rachel Dolezal is the whitest person you know. From her stance that she “knows” black culture, to her recent adoption of a string of African names from different traditions, to her love of bronzer, her obliviousness, self-deception, and self-righteousness are just manifestations of her total and deep whiteness.

For a long time we’ve been talking about her like she’s some sort of delusional weirdo, but the truth of the matter is that she’s just every damned white girl you knew in college who studied abroad in India, volunteered in Rwanda, or just grew out some white-locks.

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Yes, this one.

She told you about samsara or something and all of you at the party just look at each other with the small eye-rolls that people like her never seem to see.

Now she’s changed her name to Nkechi Amare Diallo, which strings together some Igbo and Fulani names like a cultural appropriation rosary and which, along with her forthcoming book, allow her to take up more space with her savage mediocrity.

The absolute kicker is the conversations conducted over Facebook that were shared with Awesomely Luvvie anonymously by a former colleague of Rachel D’s at one of the institutions where she taught. In the screenshots, she initially blasts the colleague for teaching a course on intercultural communication for which she feels she’s more qualified than him, despite his having a degree in communications and her having a background in art.

Thinks she deserves opportunities without qualifications? WHITE

Then, when she finds out the dude is indigenous, she fetishes his tribal belonging and then tries to school him on diversity and systemic racism within the academy.

Explanations to a non-white person about what racism is and how it manifests in their life? WHITE

The thing is, we all know people like Rachel D, it’s just that most of them keep their belief in their Inner Otherness on the DL and just adopt the extensions and nails. Their attempts to appropriate otherness is a way of refusing to acknowledge their own implication in white supremacy, an involvement in which white people, even against their will, are necessarily caught, no matter how much they work with the NAACP or how many black guys they have sex with. (Wasn’t this Milo’s schtick, too?) Loving Beyoncé doesn’t get you out of being a part of the problem of racism. Encouraging your nanny to speak to your children in Putonghua doesn’t get you off the hook for your family’s xenophobia. Adopting your black brother doesn’t prevent you from looking like a white fool.